The Suckiest Bunch of Sucks That Ever Sucked — 41st Razzie Nominations!
Tomorrow, we begin the annual celebration of the best of the best (or at least the best FYC campaigns). But as is tradition, on the eve of the Oscars Spotlight, it’s time to take a dubious moment to “honor” the absolute worst of the worst with the Golden Raspberry Awards.
In a year where everything went to shit, it’s in a way cathartic to take a special look at the films that were so shitty they couldn’t even provide comfort while we were all locked down. Movies had ONE job in 2020, and that was to help us forget out troubles. And yet, from small vanity projects to big budget studio efforts to seditious so-called “documentaries,” there was a sizeable chunk of cinema that failed spectacularly at that simple task.
I renewed my Razzie membership this year, which means I submitted potential nominees and voted in the nomination process, as well as my final vote for the actual awards, which I’ll cast in the coming weeks. I did this mostly because it’s fun to shit on stuff in an official manner when I do it here year-round. I also found myself either familiar with — or unfortunately subjected to — a good deal of this year’s field. And it is an expanded field this year, as just like the Academy, the Razzies committee opened up to include streaming films in the mix. The big difference is that movies that were intended to be streaming only were also let in, whereas the Academy only allowed streaming films with an MPA rating, meaning they were intended for a theatrical run pre-pandemic.
So as we count down the remaining hours until the Oscar nominations, give yourself a chuckle as we celebrate the chuff from which the cream has separated. The official press release can be found here.
These are the nominees for the 41st Golden Raspberry Awards!
Worst Picture
365 Days
Absolute Proof
Dolittle
Fantasy Island
Music
Worst Actor
Robert Downey, Jr. — Dolittle
Mike Lindell (The “MyPillow” Guy) — Absolute Proof
Michele Morrone — 365 Days
Adam Sandler — Hubie Halloween
David Spade — The Wrong Missy
Worst Actress
Anne Hathaway — The Last Thing He Wanted and Roald Dahl’s The Witches
Katie Holmes — Brahms: The Boy II and The Secret: Dare to Dream
Kate Hudson — Music
Lauren Lapkus — The Wrong Missy
Anna-Maria Sieklucka — 365 Days
Worst Supporting Actress
Glenn Close — Hillbilly Elegy
Lucy Hale — Fantasy Island
Maggie Q — Fantasy Island
Kristen Wiig — Wonder Woman 1984
Maddie Ziegler — Music
Worst Supporting Actor
Chevy Chase — The Very Excellent Mr. Dundee
Rudy Giuliani — Borat Subsequent Moviefilm
Shia LaBeouf — The Tax Collector
Arnold Schwarzenegger — The Iron Mask
Bruce Willis — Breach, Hard Kill, and Survive the Night
Worst Screen Combo
Maria Bakalova and Rudy Giuliani — Borat Subsequent Moviefilm
Robert Downey Jr. and His Utterly Unconvincing “Welsh” Accent — Dolittle
Harrison Ford and That Totally Fake-Looking CGI “Dog” — Call of the Wild
Lauren Lapkus and David Spade — The Wrong Missy
Adam Sandler and His Grating Simpleton Voice — Hubie Halloween
Worst Director
Charles Band — All 3 Barbie & Kendra movies
Barbara Bialowas and Tomasz Mandes — 365 Days
Stephen Gaghan — Dolittle
Ron Howard — Hillbilly Elegy
Sia — Music
Worst Screenplay
365 Days
All 3 Barbie & Kendra movies
Dolittle
Fantasy Island
Hillbilly Elegy
Worst Prequel, Sequel, Remake, or Rip-off
365 Days (Remake/Rip-off of Fifty Shades of Grey)
Dolittle (Remake)
Fantasy Island (Remake/”Re-Imagining”)
Hubie Halloween (Remake/Rip-off of Ernest Scared Stupid)
Wonder Woman 1984 (Sequel)
***
So let’s go over the nominees, shall we? I’ve seen a few of these movies and reviewed them. Others I highlighted in “This Film is Not Yet Watchable,” because even a cursory glance at the trailer was enough of a hint that these would be terrible. And yet, somehow, studios continuously fail to see the obvious and fund these boondoggles. Dolittle and Fantasy Island were remakes no one asked for or wanted. Hubie Halloween and The Wrong Missy are throwbacks to Happy Madison’s worst instincts. Adam Sandler said he’d make the dumbest movie he could in retaliation for his Oscar snub last year, and he delivered, and these may not even be the ones he promised. Sia made a wholly ill-advised movie and bought multiple Golden Globe nominations before anyone had a chance to see how horrible it was. Hillbilly Elegy may see Glenn Close nominated for an Oscar tomorrow simply because she’s due, even though her performance was passable at best and offensive at worst. She already joins Kate Hudson as being nominated here and for the Globes.
Then there are the ones you probably haven’t heard of. Absolute Proof is the most contradictory title of the bunch, as it’s a “documentary” made by the treasonous MyPillow guy asserting false, unfounded claims of election fraud stealing the 2020 vote from Donald Trump. Mike Lindell now faces multiple lawsuits that will almost certainly bankrupt him over his slanderous lies. We seemingly get at least one of these insults to journalism in the final Razzie field every year, typically by convicted felon Dinesh D’Souza (who was pardoned by Trump).
The Barbie & Kendra movies are a hastily-made trilogy of poor production value, straight-to-streaming movies made by Charles Band, beginning with Corona Zombies (where zombies have COVID, classy) and followed by Barbie & Kendra Save the Tiger King and Barbie & Kendra Storm Area 51. Think of these as Yoga Hosers without any of the charm and just completely insulting and tone deaf.
Finally, there’s 365 Days, a Polish version of Fifty Shades. Released on Netflix and initially quite the attention-grabber, it has been dismissed as softcore porn masquerading as a story (just like Fifty Shades, honestly) and glorifying sexual assault. It holds an ignominious 0% on Rotten Tomatoes, and several international and domestic petitions have received thousands of signatures on change.org for the movie to be removed from the platform. Despite all that, sequels are in the works, because of course they are.
So that’s what we’re dealing with this year, in the aftermath of the worst year ever. If you’ve seen any of these movies, please give me your thoughts. I want to be as informed as I can when I cast my votes, though hopefully that doesn’t mean seeing any more of these. And if you missed the TFINYW column, it’ll be making its grand return very soon. Keep an eye out!
Join the conversation in the comments below! What should I vote for? What do you think was nominated unfairly? Will you laugh hysterically if Glenn Close gets an Oscar nomination tomorrow? Let me know!
Originally published at http://actuallypaid.com on March 14, 2021.
